here is a heart.

These are a few of my (current) favourite things:

Blogs
Clementine Ford's blog is just lovely, it is.
Alicia Wooding's blog is just beautiful, it is.
Kristina Horner's blog is just inspiring, it is.
Hayley G Hoover's blog is just funny, it is.
Me Me Molly's blog is just...everything, it is.
Alison Chadwick's blog is just adorable, it is.

Music
Brandi Carlile - Brandi Carlile album, 2005
Jay-Z - Blueprint and Unplugged (MTV)
Eminem - everything minus that drugged out period
Lauren Zettler - live recordings and the yet to be released, mainly
The xx - XX
Arctic Monkeys - Whatever people say I am... obviously
Lykke Li - mood dependant
Lelia Broussard - Masquerade

Food
Avocado (with everything)
Scrambled eggs (as everything)
Bagels (interesting bread)
Coke (in lieu of meals sometimes. I know. I'm sorry)
Tomato soup (as the underdog who struck back)
Christmas lattes (bring festive spirit)

People
Alicia for her lifestyle, location, job and wardrobe
Alison for her... for her.
Bre for her insight
Clementine Ford for her brain
Jenny for her boobs, mostly. But sometimes her friendship
Lauren Zettler for her heart
Sam for his (a boy! what?) humour and one-shoe'd optimism

Activities
Tumblr
St Helens
Teev - Gossip Girl, ANTM, Hellcats, Grey's, 90210, Glee, The X Factor, The Apprentice
Cuddling
Sex
The gym
Dieting
Breakfast
Vinyl
Reading - currently Murakami (Sputnik Sweetheart and Dance, Dance, Dance), next Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass
Baths


...with that all said, anyone any ideas on what I should do with my life?

'I have seen your nine to fives wash away your dreams' - Brandi Carlile via Lauren Zettler's arm.

x

I won't be left.

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh ... And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new.


- Edward Estlin Cummings

wakey wakey.

Where has this year gone? On Spotify last year I made a November playlist. It's very 500 Days of Summer and it's still my favourite playlist ever. How is it nearly November again?

x

I like you in mine.

I have major crushes on at least 3 people right now. I can never, ever get married.

x

but I'm trying.

I wake at 9.30am now. Regular, like clockwork. Is clockwork one word or two?

I stole a Sharpie from work and I'm drinking lemon iced tea whilst labelling the 30 CDs that were, until 20 minutes ago, floating around in my car; the back seat, the dashboard, the floor. None of them were weightless but floating seemed like a nice word because they were unlabelled and thus, kind of, sort of, in Limbo. Where I imagine you float, because you are neither one thing nor the other, neither here nor there. It has occurred to me that it would probably be more sensible to label them as they are burned, rather than accumulate a large number of identical discs, making car journeys an aural pot luck. But that's not really me, is it? I'll never plan that far ahead. I live for right now. It's a chore, both now and 'then'.

Drinking iced tea reminds me of her. What shall we call her? 'A'? No, too confusing, there have been a few of those... Anyway, I have said too much now and chances are you know who I'm talking about anyway. Clue: She's not French. Clue: She's not completely fucking insane...not yet, anyway. They have a habit of turning though, don't they? Whatever. Basically, the whole point of this was to say that she tastes like Pepsi, tea and potential. She is intelligent and has direction and knows what she wants: me. I like that. I like her certainty. If I can't believe in myself, if I can't see the appeal, it's nice to know that somebody else does.

You all know what happened last time, right? I've been told it's an Aquarian trait. That a typical Aquarius is drawn to uncertainty, to the chase, to rejection, to a challenge. That they hate an easy life, that they are only interested when the object of their interest isn't. ...I know, right? But I'm trying this time.

Sharing popcorn at the cinema, meeting her friends - I'm trying. Here, with my Sharpie and my CDs - I'm trying.

I bought a guinea pig last week and named him Stanley. He pissed on me last night and I took it as a sign of his growing affection and love. ...I know, right? But I'm trying.

x

northshore

don't stay, don't plan, don't heal, don't mend, don't take, don't send,
don't love me. don't love me. don't love me.

x

heart skipped a beat.

No need to come to me
When I can make it all the way to you
You made it clear
You weren't near
Near enough for me

x